2013-12-31 The silence of men in general is overtalked aboutandovercriticized. To be sure, men never open up as much as womenwantthem to, but there is a wordless understanding in which we nfairlywell especially in friendships. I believe, in fact, that most women would prefer a man tobegloomily uncommunicative than to spill his guts at the drop ofahat. The push for men to express their feelings presumes that wehavefeelings, and we do have a few, but they remain submerged, andtheairing of them often violates their authenticity. I am no biologist, but my guess is that the male human animalwasprogrammed for silence. I would go so far as to argue that menwereprogrammed to be isolated from one another and that alonenessisour natural state. Silence in male friendships is our way ofbeingalone with each other. Once men have established a friendship that itself is theword.The affection is obvious, at least to us. A main component ofoursilence is an appreciation of the affection. 男人的沉默往往被过多地谈论且过分指责了。

可以肯定的是，男人从未像女人所希望的那样开诚布公地说出自己的心里话，但无言的理解，在男人当中却很管用，尤其在维持友谊的时候。我相信事实上大多数女人都宁愿男人郁郁寡欢不言不语，而不喜欢男人就像竹筒倒豆子，什么都说。都说男人应该把情感表达出来，这说明我们并非没有感情的动物。不错，我们确实有一些，但隐而不露，若要表达出来就变味儿了。我不是生物学家，但我猜想男人这种动物天生就是沉默寡言的。我甚至认为男人天生就是彼此孤立的，孤独是我们的自然状态。即使成了朋友，也是无声的友谊，这使得我们能彼此独立地活着。一旦男人间建立起友谊，友谊本身就已说明了一切。至少对我们来说，情感是明显的。我们的沉默，主要就是来自于对这份情感的欣赏。